by Riza
I’m Riza, a single mother of three children, from the city of Dipolog in the Philippines. For much of my life, I carried this idea that to be a good person, I had to be kind, humble, and always do the right thing. I thought I had to be perfect. I worked tirelessly to meet those expectations, trying to be the best mother, the best daughter, the best employee, the best friend. But the harder I tried, the more exhausting it became. There were so many times I felt like I was running on empty, like no matter how much I gave, it was never enough.
I constantly worried about what others thought of me—whether they thought I was doing a good job, whether they saw me as capable, or if I was living up to some invisible standard. The pressure to be perfect started to weigh on me so heavily that I began to lose sight of who I truly was. Instead of feeling proud of the things I was doing, I felt like I was falling short. It was like I was running in place, giving my all, but getting nowhere.
As a single mother, I also carried the responsibility of being the breadwinner for my family. The pressure to succeed was overwhelming. I had to support my children, pay the bills, and make sure they were provided for, even though I was miles away from them, working hard to give them a better life. There were times when I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, and every day was a struggle to balance everything. Being away from my children, not being able to see them grow or comfort them when they needed me most, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to endure. The guilt of being physically distant from them while still trying to give them everything I thought they needed was a constant battle inside me.
"Perfection isn’t the goal; resilience, love, and authenticity are. In the end, it’s not about being flawless—it’s about being real, doing your best, and never giving up, even when the journey is tough."
For years, I felt like I was trapped in this cycle of trying to be perfect, trying to do everything right, but never quite getting it right. I was so focused on trying to meet other people's expectations that I forgot to take care of myself. I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and physically. The weight of being a mother, a provider, and a role model was just too much, and I often wondered if I was really making a difference, or if I was just treading water, trying to keep my head above the surface.
But over time, something began to change. I started to realize that maybe perfection wasn’t the goal. Maybe it wasn’t about doing everything right or being flawless. It was about being real, being present, and doing the best I could with what I had. I started to accept that I didn’t have to be perfect to be good enough. I didn’t have to meet everyone’s expectations, and I didn’t have to carry the world on my shoulders. I learned that it was okay to ask for help, to lean on others when I needed to, and to forgive myself when I fell short.
I’ve learned that being a mother doesn’t mean being perfect—it means showing up, loving your children with everything you have, and doing your best, even when things are tough. I’ve learned that it’s okay to take a step back and breathe, to recognize my own needs, and to take care of myself too. I am still a work in progress, but I am learning to embrace who I am, flaws and all.
Yes, the struggle has been real, and the journey hasn’t been easy. But I’m slowly learning to carry that weight a little bit more gently, with more grace, and more self-compassion. And though I still face many challenges, I’ve learned that it's not about being perfect—it's about being resilient, being authentic, and never giving up on yourself or your dreams. My children may be far from me physically, but they are always in my heart. And in the end, I am doing my best, and that's enough.
Join Us in Supporting Migrant Domestic Workers Escaping Abuse
Migrant domestic workers who have fled abusive employment urgently need your help. They’ve left behind exploitation and are taking brave steps toward safety—but they need support for basic needs like shelter, food, clothing, and counseling.
"With your donation, we can provide immediate relief and a pathway to rebuilding lives in dignity and safety."
Every contribution, no matter the size, helps us provide essentials, temporary housing, job training, and emotional support. Together, we can offer a lifeline to those starting over.
Donate today to make an impact and be a part of their journey to freedom, recovery, and empowerment.
Commenti