by Ritchel
Dear Younger Self,
I want you to take three minutes to sit down, take a deep breath and remember that you are a wonderful, strong, resilient young woman. You have wrestled with fear your entire life. Don't let it win. Choose faith instead of fear. God will walk with you and you are never alone. And I’ll start with this simple plea to you;
Do not worry.
Are you scared and nervous? Is there something bothering you? Did you calculate things before you made a move? I know it’s impossible to not worry about the future. I’d say it’s unwise not to. I know you will not be pleased with what you are doing right now, because it is not your dream job to be a migrant domestic worker in a foreign country. You will take good care of other people’s children, cook sumptuous food and be responsible for sweeping, vacuuming, polishing, mopping and cleaning other houses. You are leaving your children in the care of your mother-in-law and sister-in-law because you want to provide a better life for them. While you will endure homesickness, you will be proud of yourself. Your hard work will give them the best that life could offer and will send them to the best schools.
You are dreaming of working at a mental health hospital to take good care of mentally unwell patients by giving them counseling. For you, this is the most exciting, more diverse profession you could imagine, and you are very passionate about helping other people by understanding their behaviour. I know you will be frustrated because it’s a dream that you will have to put aside. But you will realise that you will not be chasing your own dreams anymore, but striving to give your loved ones the best life.
So stop overthinking so much because it bothers me as your future self. Stop worrying so much because most of it will never actually happen. Stop wasting your time on ‘what-ifs’. If you keep focusing on what could happen in the future or think about things you can’t change from the past, you will overlook the gift that is here in this moment. Don’t let your fear hold you back from living your life and stepping out boldly into the world.
Honour your parents.
Remember those times when your father came home from work and brought you nice food from the places he visited? You and your siblings were all delighted. Remember how his tough discipline molded you all into who you are today, right? Remember those times when he came home tired and exhausted from work so that he could send you all to school? So do not hate him for what he does by going somewhere and finding some money. His job, engaging in cockfighting in different places, is understandable and he is a hardworking man.
Remember those times when your mother read a fairytale story to you, where you imagined yourself finding a Prince Charming? Remember those times when your mother bought you a Royal soft drink and a Skyflakes biscuit when you were not feeling well? These were the most luxurious items to buy during that time, so think about how worried and anxious she was about your wellbeing. I know she was being calm about all things that happened inside the house which is hard to tell everyone, but let’s just keep it a secret.
I know sometimes it’s hard to forget but let’s forgive quickly, darling. Believe that there is goodness in this world and make it your life’s mission to seek out and find this goodness. Remember Ephesians 6:2-3: ”Honour your father and mother.” When you honour your father and mother, ”things will go well for you and you will have a long life on the earth.” So please keep this in your mind.
Even though you have a decent job in the Philippines, you still want to go to a foreign country to work as a domestic worker. Your parents will not be happy at all of course, and they will also be afraid about your decisions in life. But you know that what has made you decide this is the disparity between the value of your job and the cost of living, especially for the future of your children.
Be grateful.
Don’t look back in ten years and regret that you never learned to appreciate today. Learn to accept and embrace the present moment with the blessings all around you. If you learn to look, you will find them everywhere and realize the abundance of it.
Don’t beat yourself up for your choices or feel life is hard and unfair. You will defy the odds, take something ugly and painful and turn it into something you are proud of today. One of these experiences is being involved in an organisation here such as The Voice of Domestic Workers, who help vulnerable domestic workers leaving abusive employers. By educating yourself together with other migrant workers, you are standing together for our rights, speaking about our work and our story behind closed doors.
With all that, you will spend your life creating what you love most and you will take a look at where you are and realize that “YOU MADE IT”.
Lots of love,
Your Future Self
About the author
Ritchel is 41 years old, and is married with two children. With the help of her aunties who were working abroad, she was able to graduate college with a Bachelor of Science Major in Psychology. She worked in the Philippines as a sales clerk, in HR doing data entry, and as a school teacher before she decided to go abroad. She worked in Singapore for 11 years before she was brought here to London where she suffered verbal and physical abuse. The Voice of Domestic Workers rescued her and helped her to build her life slowly here in the UK with their advocacy and education programmes.
Ritchel is part of the Future Voices programme, a unique leadership and training programme run in partnership between the Voice of Domestic Workers and Sounddelivery Media equipping a new network of migrant domestic workers with the knowledge, skills and confidence to share their stories, influence public opinion and advocate for change.
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